A Heartfelt Thank You to Our Anonymous Embryo Donor

Where to start with my gratitude? The last couple of years have been a whirlwind. An incredible, life-changing, beautiful whirlwind!

Our daughter’s first birthday is approaching. She has been in our arms for almost a year, yet I still wake up every single day in shock that she is actually ours. My husband and I sat and reflected on how incredibly grateful we are to all of those who helped make our dream come true; and it wasn’t a short list. There were doctors, lawyers, and a gestational carrier. Then it hit me: We have never had the opportunity to say thank you or show our appreciation to you, the individual that so lovingly created the embryos that eventually became our sassy, sweet, gorgeous little girl.

Although we never got a chance to meet you or even talk with you, we will be forever connected and eternally grateful to you. We were given a glimpse into your life by reading your profile, but you were not given the same opportunity.

I had easily gotten pregnant with my first child. The pregnancy was uncomplicated and we had a boy. I naively thought that subsequent pregnancies would come just as easily as the first. After battling PCOS and endometriosis for four years, I had my second son with the help of daily medications and exploratory surgeries to remove cysts.

Then it happened. I got the call from my doctor that I had Stage 2, invasive carcinoma that started in my cervix. I was immediately taken in for extensive testing and more surgeries, which ultimately led to a partial hysterectomy. All of a sudden, my options to expand my family were taken from me.

Years later, I met an incredible man that had no children of his own and we got married. Early on we discussed our desire to have children, but we didn’t know that there were options available. We did some research and found out about surrogacy. I researched the steps that we had to go through, the IVF process, the laws in our state, etc. It all seemed so out of reach, but we took it one step at a time. We found a fertility clinic and started the process. In the meantime, we developed an incredible friendship with a woman who agreed to carry a baby for us.

I couldn’t possibly know the agony that you went through making the decision to donate your remaining embryos, but we know that you gave us a piece of your heart and soul.The IVF route was hard and expensive. Like many couples experiencing secondary infertility, we hit a lot of road blocks along the way. Every time we left the doctor’s office we were more discouraged by bad news. The final blow was delivered in May 2016 when we learned that not only were we dealing with my infertility, but now male factor infertility was an issue, as well, and we wouldn’t be able to move forward with IVF. My husband and I left the office silent because we both knew if a word was spoken, the tears would fall. We were crushed, but still determined. We weren’t sure how yet, but we knew we had to keep trying.

While researching surrogacy, I came across a few groups intended to provide information and support to both gestational carriers and intended parents. This is where I learned about embryo donation. Our clinic has an embryo donation program, and we contacted them to learn more. We eagerly looked through profiles of people that had gone through the IVF process and donated their remaining embryos. We read every little detail given about each donor until, finally, we came to your profile. We read it, re-read it, and re-read it again. We didn’t know how it would turn out, but somehow we knew that your embryos belonged with us. And just like that we became the parents to your embryos that had been frozen in time.

I couldn’t possibly know the agony that you went through making the decision to donate your remaining embryos, but we know that you gave us a piece of your heart and soul. We know how much love was poured into the creation of those embryos. There is nothing that we could ever do to re-pay you for your act of kindness and selflessness, but we want you to know that we will always do what we can to make sure that our daughter knows how much she is loved.

I don’t know you, but every time I look at our girl, I know that you must be one of the most beautiful people inside and out, because she is gorgeous and so full of personality already.

Not only did you provide my husband and me with this miracle, you gave our boys something they had never thought they would have — a baby sister. Her father and I love watching how much joy she brings to them and how tenderly they interact with her, like only big brothers could. Her face lights up when they walk into a room and she doesn’t quit grinning when they are around.

You changed our whole world when you decided to donate your embryos. You filled our hearts with hope and our heads with dreams of a future where we could be a family of five. You helped make our dream come true.

With Love,

The Ever-Grateful Recipients of Your Embryo Donation