Breanna Loving and her husband met in high school, dated through college and got married in 2016. They started trying to conceive right away when Breanna got the news that her grandfather was terminally ill. She says, “I wanted him to see his great grandchild.”
Little did she know then that it would take many more years to have a baby and that that baby would be brought into the world by her mother, Julie.
Here’s the Loving’s beautiful and growing family story:
Q What’s your infertility story in a nutshell?
My husband and I tried to have a baby for a year with no success, so we sought out the help of Dr. Kaplan with Fertility Centers of Illinois. We did have successful treatments with him, but sadly, I kept miscarrying.
In 2018 we got pregnant with twins through IVF, but we lost the pregnancy late in my first trimester resulting in me needing a D&C. Unfortunately, the procedure left damage in my uterus in the form of scar tissue. This makes my chances of conception very slim, and if I did get pregnant, I would have a high risk of miscarrying again.
Q: At what point did you realize you may need a gestational surrogate and what happened next?
I was in denial for about a year after finding out about the condition of my uterus. I flew to OBGYN specialists in another other state hoping they could correct the scarring. But, through working with them, I learned that I had a condition called Asherman’s Syndrome. Apparently, it’s not super rare, but many go forward unaware that they have this condition in their uterus that may prevent a pregnancy from happening or lasting to term.
“I wanted to exhaust all my options before I took the step towards working with a gestational surrogate. Once I realized my body was not an option anymore I was devastated. I always dreamed of being pregnant and carrying my own child, and I had to let that dream go.”
I wanted to exhaust all my options before I took the step towards working with a gestational surrogate. Once I realized my body was not an option anymore I was devastated. I always dreamed of being pregnant and carrying my own child, and I had to let that dream go.
Q: Julie: How did you feel seeing Breanna and her husband go through the pain and loss of trying to have a baby?
Seeing my daughter go though these struggles was so hard. When you see your child hurting you want to do anything you can to help them. And, with fertility I felt like there wasn’t anything I could really do for them.
When I offered to carry for my daughter, she initially said no. But, I was very persistent that I wanted to do this for her. I wanted to be able to help them create their family, and I wanted to be a grandma!
Q: Julie: Did you ever know anyone who was a surrogate? What did you know about it and were you surprised you were approved to carry for Breanna?
I didn’t know anyone who was a surrogate. Once we learned that the only option for Breanna and her husband to have their baby was through gestational surrogacy, I began looking into the process and reading others stories. I knew if there was a will, there would be a way. And this family has a lot of “will” !
To be honest, I was not surprised that I was approved. I knew I had taken care of my body at great lengths through exercise and nutrition. I just had to prove to the doctor that I knew what I was capable of at 51 years old.
Q: What do you think the delivery room will look like?
COVID-19 has thrown a wrench in that plan, so we will see; but we hope that it will be me and my husband and my dad in the room. We are expecting this November, so I’m not sure how everything will look then!
“When I offered to carry for my daughter, she initially said no. But, I was very persistent that I wanted to do this for her. I wanted to be able to help them create their family, and I wanted to be a grandma!”
Q: How has this brought your family closer? Has it been an issue for anyone? How have you handled it?
We were already super close prior to this chapter. The four of us, my mom, dad and husband did many trips together, like backpacking in the Grand Canyon. So, I think since we’ve already done some crazy adventures and this is just another big one we can add to the list!
Nobody has had an issue with it (at least not hat they have said to our faces 🙂 so it’s been pretty smooth. Everyone we’ve spoken with thinks it absolutely makes the most sense, and my mom’s uterus is the best place the baby can be.
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